Wow, it has been so long since I have written in this thing.Been almost like a forever. Forever and a day. I have been working on a teaching degree. For music. Piano and the violin. It has been alot of fun working with many children, at the university, not too long ago, I started being a substitute teacher for a class of about 30 children. There was so many of them! yikes! But I managed to do a good job.Good thing most of them were experienced, all of them were so smart, I was very happy with this.

I am going to working with a few bands soon. My project split due to differences. It is the reason that many of you that read this, should if you start a band, make sure none of the other people in the band end up dating each other. As it will cause alot of conflict if you date one another and break up.I do have another project going on at the moment, the song I am placing on here if from what is currently being recorded. So I hope you enjoy.I play the bass in it and do the vocals.

Lets see ummm. What else, just been living life and enjoying it. For everyone they should do the same. Life is beautiful, I am still very much involved in the gothic industrial scene, but for most, they surround themselves with things that make them unhappy, or sad, why to be in something do you have to make yourself miserable, I will never understand, life is too short to be unhappy with it forever. For me I would rather be happy for a year than be miserable my whole life.

Lets see. What else am I thinking of. People should find things that inspire them, whatever is most beautiful to them I suppose. For me, its music. And it makes me smile. A couple of important things people should know about life, is the first being you should never ever, place your happiness in someone else, ever, cause once you leave them or vice versa it is not good for you. You need to find happiness in yourself. And the second is never leave the one you love for the one you like. The second is almost as important as the first.Time and time again I watch as people leave someone for the next best thing, on such short notice, anything new is appealing. But once you leave that person, things can never be the same. And most people don't realize this, things ended for a reason, and chances are that they will surface if you get back together, the least you can salvage is a friendship.If not go your seperate ways, it will save you alot of trouble.

This year has been memorable. And as time goes by, I realize how beautiful life is and it makes me smile and think of all the good things to come.

Whatever is put in front of me, I know I can move on from. I am a strong person. As is everyone, they have to find it within themselves. And I am sure each and everyone can do that. Have a beautiful day, I will start updating more often,  and tell me if you like the song I finished, I put it on here so you can listen to it.I play the bass and do the vocals. Okay bye

I haven't written in a day and an age, so I just thought I would update this thing, even though it seems forever. So this is going to be a long entry hopefully it will keep you all entertained. I made peace with a friend of mine and everything is so nice.

My cousin as you all know died for those of you that read this, we are trying to get him buried in a none military cemetary or have his body exhumed or however the word is and moved to another cemetary near his family.

If most of you didn't know, when you sign the thing to become a military person, you basically are signing your life away and you become property of the government. And he is now just a statistic, if you go to the point loma cemetary you will notice that as far as they eye can see little white crosses, and I think that is quite stupid. The military focuses on minorities.And now he is just one of them.

Even though everyone has a SOB story, I just think it is a waste personally.

Now on the bigger and better issues. I have been working with a band, I am going to be talking to some of the main members of chandeen a gothic band that split up, and a few of them will be helping me I am hoping. This is their site if you wish to know more about them.( http://www.chandeen.com/index.php)

I  am one of the dj's and bartenders at one of the gothic clubs here in mexico for those of you that didn't know.Besides being a musician.I also have red hair.

This is one of my setlists for those interested.

BlutEngel – Any chance?

Melotron – Die maske

Mortiis – Smell the witch

Devision – Drifting sideways

Leatherstrip – Coming up for air (Fictional Remix)

Lights of Euphoria – Fortune teller

E- Nomine – Mitternacht (radio edit)

AND ONE – Sometimes

Chandeen-My world depends on you

Diary of dreams – The curse

Hocico – Ruptura (remix)

Cassandra complex – Twice as good

Autumn Angels- Shadow of your soul

Black heaven-Smell of suicide

Asp- Maybe (dust of basement remix)

E-Nomine –Das tier in mir

Gary numan – Dead Heaven

Suspiria-Glitter

Big electric cat- Paris skyes

Suspiria- Far heavens

Love spirals downwards – Flux (dance remix)

Rammstein – Engel (remix) (requested)

Suicide commando- Love breeds suicide (club remix)

Melotron- Manchmal

Hocico- Untold blasphemies version 3.0

There is a lot more but that is all I will put for now.

Life has been good. I have a new job as the bartender at the club I frequent,

my project is getting signed to a small label here in tijuana, called Opcion sonica, but we are trying to get on a label called Strangeways.

That I don't think will happen. But it is worth a shot.

This weekend I have been hanging out with my friend from the club he is cool. We went dancing at sabbat and LA, and my other friend danny from san diego.

This is a pic of my new friend and me, he is so nice.

He is in an industrial band here in tijuana, and goes to this club called Porky's with me.

I quit the wonderful coffeehouse. Or cafe rather at the university.

Since working almost all night and then going to make coffee for the masses the next morning wasn't too appealing.

I also bought some new shoes which are the best you are all so jealous.

I bought them from a fetish store in san diego with my friend Danny.

We went to hillcrest to pick them up at the Crypt. Fun fun.

Some sleazy person there kept trying to talk to me.

Gross gross. Some anorexic person that was tall and skinny. And smelled funny.He smelled like a cat.Or like he had too many cats.

So lets see what does my Current love interest look like.

Here are some pictures.

What do you think?

He even got off of work to help me set up. So sweet.

He is hiding. Awww.So cute.

This is my sister again dressed for the best of the fashion with her pretty

contacts.When arriving to the club with me. Such the model.

So sophisticated, hahaha. not really though.

Awww, so pretty.

And of course me with my red hair.This one turned out so nice.

I always look nice when getting to the club and all my makeup is on and hasn't been worn off.by the lights or sweating.

Usually when I am done working at the bar I just sit in a corner with one of my friends and talk cause I am too tired to go on the dancefloor.

Me and my friend martin here after my shift is done.

There is one problem though,the flash on the camera it is kind of blinding which is why my friend Martin doesn't looked to pleased. These photos were taken in a pitch black area, so it is kind of blinding! Arrr.

There is usually alot people dancing since I play danceable goth/industrial dance music.Don't go on the dance floor if your not going to dance.Rrrr!

And even my mom went to the club I worked at here she is with my sister.

My mom is the coolest. She even danced during my setlist.

She moves pretty good for an old lady, just joking mom.

I wish I could fit in one of these crazy outfits, but they would kill me, I wouldn't be able to breathe in them

She is funny though,

She got in like every picture me and danny were taking of people.

So conceited!!!hahaha.

Yeah she knows I was going to post pics on here, so conceited, she asked me to do this.Hahaha, Funny!

This is what I am drinking at the moment.

Since I am using the computer at the club near the video game machine.

I am going to run to the bar hang on please!

This is a picture of the other bartender I work with here, who thinks I am crazy for just taking his picture just now.

And that is all for now.

I am a nice person in the goth scene, I never understood how most in the states are pretentious assholes. I never saw the point in thinking you were better than another. I go to this club in LA and in San Diego and everyone sat on the patio smoking and thinking they were better than everyone. I think that is very stupid to me. They are no better than the people they pretend to be nothing like. The goth scene in the US is far overrated to me. Why not be nice? You are not a rockstar, so no need to have the mentality of one. I do not understand this. Nor do I think I ever will. They are all the same. Why not enjoy life? And be yourself. Really not that hard.

And I dedicate this song on here to you Daniael your a very good friend which anyone would be so lucky to have in their life. And for the many good things to come for us and for the future to come.

By Pat Sherman and Elizabeth Fitzsimons
UNION-TRIBUNE STAFF WRITERS
May 12, 2004

NELVIN CEPEDA / Union-Tribune
The family of Specialist Ramon Ojeda grieved at Fort Rosecrans National Cemetery yesterday. His widow, Lesliee, was held by his father, Jack. His mother, Maria, wept at left, and Lesliee held Angel, her son.
 
Standing on the lawn at Fort Rosecrans National Cemetery yesterday, Andrew Singleton rolled up a sleeve to reveal words he had tattooed on his arm this week: "A Sacrifice Never Forgotten."

The blue letters were etched with the name of Singleton's closest friend, Ramon Ojeda, and the dates Oct. 28, 1981 to May 1, 2004.

Singleton was among more than 100 friends and relatives gathered at Fort Rosecrans to pay tribute to Ojeda, 22, who was killed in Iraq on May 1 when Shiite militiamen attacked his Army supply convoy. Ojeda was working as a specialist with the 84th Engineer Battalion, 25th Infantry Division (Light).

Amor Del Castillo, 22, and Alpha Del Castillo, 24, stood and watched six servicemen carry Ojeda's flag-draped coffin up a hill and place it gently near a shade tree, next to where it would later be interred.

Amor held a bouquet of roses from which she passed out single stems to fellow members of a youth leadership group called Pathfinders. In his teens, Ojeda had been a member of the group at the Ramona Seventh-Day Adventist Church.

Ramon Ojeda
 
Amor Del Castillo said from her conversations with Ojeda that she knew he was prepared for military service. "He felt this was the right thing to do," she said.

Pastor Edilson Elson of the Ramona Seventh-Day Adventist Church told the crowd: "He was fighting for someone he did not know, yet giving all he had. Today, we don't come here to cry, but with hope that we might meet Ramon again."

Ojeda's father, Jack, a Vietnam veteran, and mother, Maria, stood in front of the casket with their son's wife, Lesliee. The two met and married while serving in the Army.

Elson said Jack would miss his "pride," and Lesliee "her companion, and a fellow soldier."

Ojeda also leaves a 14-month-old son, Angel.

"May the Lord comfort you all," Elson told the group. "Lesliee, may he comfort you and give you the strength to raise your little Angel."

The servicemen who carried Ojeda's coffin marched beyond the crowd, where they each fired three rounds to honor the fallen soldier.

As a trumpeter began to play "Taps," many of those assembled sobbed inconsolably; others clutched one another.

The soldiers removed the flag and presented it to his wife. She held it close and wept.

"He always had a 'can do' spirit," said Singleton, who met Ojeda at Mount Woodson Elementary School in Ramona and wrestled with him at Ramona High School. "He always went out there and got the job done."

Earlier in the day, as friends and relatives left Ramona, the small town noted its loss. American flags normally used to celebrate events such as the Fourth of July lined 10 blocks of Main Street.

A small group from the Rotary Club, which owns the flags, and the Chamber of Commerce gathered at 7:30 a.m. to post them.

Ojeda was Ramona's first casualty in the Iraq war.

"It's difficult," said Dolores Garcia, an administrative assistant at the chamber.

"How can it not touch you?" she said. "He's 22 years old. I have children older than him. He has a 14-month-old baby just learning to walk."

Down the street, Maria Mejia was on her lunch break and saw the hearse, limousine and line of cars. A small crowd gathered to watch.

Friends and relatives remembered Ojeda as a man with a remarkable ability to disarm and cheer up others with levity.

Alpha Del Castillo recalled how Ojeda would sit at the back of the church and grab friends as they walked out. "If somebody was down, he'd crack a joke and make them smile," she said.

Ruben Murcia, a Pathfinders leader, added: "This morning I was remembering the way he had a heart to go always to the one who wasn't feeling that well that day. . . . It's a real loss."

After the service, Ojeda's uncle, Ray Garcia, a former Marine who served in the Korean War, played a farewell song on the guitar, "La Golondrina."

Murcia and fellow Pathfinders recited the group's motto, by which they said their friend lived his life: "By the grace of God, I will be pure, kind and true. . . . I will be a servant to God and a friend to man."

"That's what he was doing," Murcia said.

I do not feel like writing much now, as words cannot express how I feel.

This song speaks more of what I feel now. It is the best expression I can think for now.

And for those that revel in the destruction of war, than you are sadly misguided, for heaven or hell, this is your life, and for whats to come, this is it. If you have intentions of joining the military for yourself, for financial aspects or pursuits of interest involving the government you are sadly selling yourself short, you are fighting for ideals which are not to begin with yours, sadly if you think this than you are very stupid in your teachings whether it be your parents or otherwise. You should be taught to embrace life, yours. And those which come to you in their need.Not for something which is thought of to be right. A simple ideal of another who sets the standard for what is right or wrong, who is to speak of this? No one.

War brings sorrow, nothing more, nothing less. I do not feel like writing much more for this time. And this song I dedicate to you cousin. As words cannot express how I feel at this time.

Goodbye cousin...I love you.

Whoooo! Today, and the last week I have so much fun.I go to LA to Das bunker and dance so much. They play so much good stuff, no suck music.
I ended up going to the cemetary here a few weeks ago and taking pictures before I ended up getting bothered by the police. Ooooooo. Then I went home, but not before I went there later that day when they left. Because I am the best.Not really though, but oh how I try.

I have been meaning to update this alot more, kind of really busy it has seemed to be. More or less no time to write here, even at work, there has been coffee crazed masses. I am curious to how someone can mess up their order 5 times, after I have made it right the first 5 times. Then they change their mind. Le grrrr.

Been hanging out alot with Daniael, my sister, and denise. I buy some new cd's. I buy a bootleg NEW MORRISEY CD!!!! Ooooo. It isn't even out yet.And I have it in my possession.Yes! Morrisey is the best!Thank you daniael so much, many kisses.

 For this week I went skinny dipping with daniael, and denise, that was fun. Till I slipped on some seaweed and hit my ass on a rock. Keep in mind the water is very cold at 3AM. Even tequila couldn't keep me warm.I do not care though, very fun.

The idea was to play a type of shots game at the beach in tijuana.Daniael ended up losing and so did denise.Oops. I drank a little bit myself for fun. The game was to see how many numbers you could get, by talking to random strangers. And how many you tried you had to take a shot if you got the number,versus if they turned you down.

This is from when denise lost.OoooOooo.3 people. Awwwww.Many more though later. Oops. 4 more people.4 more shots. Daniael drank 6. I drank 8. Denise 8. Who knew tequila could be so photogenic.

I bought some new equipment for my music project which is making me very happy. YES!!!!!!! I trade my bass and get a new one. So very happy about this. Since my last one wasn't compatible with the roland equipment I bought for it. Now this one is!!!.He gave me for alot less since it was a trade in.

Went to dj again, so now I have two set lists I will e-mail to my friend on here. Mr. Hollowsnations. Sorry, I haven't got around to it sooner. I will now though.

I would say I am with the dj, but I kind of am now. I replace the very rude acting one and took his postition among the ones working there. Now I have his time slot.

 He disrespect the club owner. And the club owner call me to ask me if I wanted his position on the weekends.Very happy with this. And I find one of his old setlists, when I take out the trash next to the dj stand, it was stuck to the bottom of the inside of the trashcan. YES! Now I can get all of his songs.For those of you that have to be a dj someday this is what you'll be dealing with, people that have hard to find good music that makes them think they are better than everyone that does not, the thing is though, if your a suck person with good music taste, your still a suck person. Doesn't change it. Now I have his job.

The club is sooo packed every night by my house. There is my sister in the skeleton shirt.Dressed to kill as usual.

This is the dj stuff I work with, and of course my poison of choice for that moment, with my CD collection.I get free drinks. Very nice.

And another one from up above, in the balcony.

So I decided to finish off my drink, and Daniael running around with my camera. By this time the club started filling up like crazy. It is interesting how some clubs work I notice.One minute they are empty, the next minute there is like 2000 people walking through the door. The lights above the dj pedestal are not soft lights, i wish they were, so I wouldn't sweat as much.

Me taking a wonderful breather before doing my setlist.

I have been working non stop, I am trying to buy a new car, I have my old buick but a newer model would be very nice. The club owner said he will help me finance it if I work there as a bartender as well, which I am considering very much, since he has offered to help me if I help him. He has a car for sale. Decisions, decisions. I will give my old one to daniael since he is living in san diego and needing a car very much so.

This is where my new job might be shortly. Besides my (cafe) coffeehouse, I will be working here now on weekends so 7 days I will be working now I will be doing something I like very much though on these weekends to come and getting paid for it. I decided to do something different this time I played a set list. Some industrial metal. Like Die krupp's metal machine music, Morpheus's sister, and some others like the new christian death, metal you can dance to.

My sister enjoyed this very much. She is very funny. Death metal was made for my sister.Here she is being hardcore during my setlist,her and her friend Myra.

She rocks out alot.

This is what she gave me when I asked for a smile.

So thoughtful of her.Thank you my lovely sister. She was in a bad mood early in the evening at least I got her to smile.

Here is alot of the people on the dance floor during my set list.I feel so loved.

Yes, and me dancing of course.I love photoshop. Who ever said the dj couldn't dance? No me. I always thought that was dumb rule that some nameless person made up forever ago.

This weekend I am supposed to be working with my old band, I did quit it. And stole the lead guitarist as well. The singer was quite angry with me.

He blames it all on his girlfriend. I blame it on his ego. He can't sing. Only yell and scream. Now his girlfriend dump him. Oops. Now he wants me back in his band.

Maybe I work with him if he pay me, and still a maybe. Not be in his band though. We do all the music, he just sings, cannot play an instrument. Too bad. I do not care if I am working with someone who tries to take all the spotlight, when they start treating me like their audience. Then it is different, rock star mentality may work with people not in the band. It doesn't go with me though. I do not have the tolerance, nor patience to babysit.

I met someone from online and took them to tijuana with me, since they were afraid of getting robbed, that was okay. They were very boring. It is the reason I do not have many friends without similar interests to me. Or date anyone that doesn't. I mean I do not mind to stray from this but it helps me to keep things not so complicated.

In other recent news. I have been going to LA alot, I run into this man from faith and the muse. William faith is very nice. I think that is his name.

I also find a new album by morthem vlade art, well not new. New to me yes.And something by illuminate.

I find also some proppelerheads software at a pawn store, in the cd section in LA. I find rebirth!!! Drum loops full version, not the demo!!!!

How much it cost me? A little over 9 dollars. Retail value, priceless. Well not really but alot of money.

Life is very good. I mean it is interesting how alot of the gothic people I meet around where I live are too depressed. I am into the scene because I am enjoy it very much. And I am happy with my life. A darker side of life, I thought what was coined the term for a gothic lifestyle my friends say. I did not see the word depressed in it. If your in the scene for a reason to hate your life I find that very sad. You can not dress all in black and be a rebel and hate your life. Look at james dean. OooOoooO. I go to LA and all they kept talking about was how rozz williams hung himself. Oh Jajajajaja.

Who cares. Old news. This is his site. www.rozznet.com I mean yes, he is a very good artist, who is probably one of the main founders of the LA deathrock scene, and whos antics were used by trent reznor and manson.

The reason I think he killed himself was because he worked hard for so many years, and inspired so many, yet all he was considered as was as an icon of a time long past. Christian death was very good with him.He however was quite a megalomaniac in his younger days. And disbanded christian death twice.

And left the other members in financial disrepair. Left them homeless in europe and called mommy to send him money come home to the USA.

Shadow project is one of my favorite bands even to this day which he was the lead singer, as a musician, an artist he was wonderous, as a person however he was crap. Which led to his utter demise. When people recognize you for what you were, more for than who you are, than that is quite horrible. I think. I ended up going to some after party in LA after perversion.There was a lot of people there annoying me alot. Okay, I do not have low self esteem. Not at all. Most guys don't realize this. And when crusty death rockers come bother me or homeless goth rockers try and hit on me, they will get rejected every time. Some guy who was very beautiful, asked me to go with him while he tried to cop some dope. And if I wanted to slam with him.
Ick. Yuck. No thanks. Heroin is very gross.

A needle in my arm. No way. Never ever. I don't get my blood drawn why would I do that. So needless to say I ended up leaving there, and walking down the street to jack in the box with some girl who felt the same as me. We exchanged emails, and she is telling to join Myspace.com, so I can meet people. We talked about how alot of people think they junkie lifestyle is cute, or the starving artist thing is hot and how alot of people like it. Me for one am not really into it. So went back to the house and got my jacket. And went home. Long drive. From LA to mexico. An accident slowed traffic to a crawl. I got home at 5AM with Daniael. He slept on the floor with me. Since my sister was passed out in my bed.

The next morning I went to pick up a book with my sister that she let her friend borrow. And I ended up staying at the club for a little bit. The book she has is very good. I liked it alot.

That is all for now, i am going to put up the cemetary photos later when I have the time. I am tired must rest. And drink coffee.

Oh and look daniael took a picture of jack the pumpkin king while I was occupied with some people.

Interesting I must say so myself.Oooooooooo.